POETIC SOUL: 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚖𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚡𝚑𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚜𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚌𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚖𝚊𝚐𝚒𝚌、𝙪𝙣𝙥𝙖𝙘𝙠𝙚𝙙.

Picture chosen by the writer

Note: This work is intentionally written in lowercase.

the cardboard boxes sat stacked in front of me, not in a neat row but a haphazard pile—mirroring the chaos within myself. these boxes are not any ordinary boxes, each of these boxes represents a stage of my life, meticulously labeled with memories I'd carefully arranged and stored away, tucked into the dusty corners of my mind.

there were boxes that were overflowing with academic achievement and expectations, drowning me under a never-ending cycle of "shoulds" as the weight of my family's hopes were pressed down upon me. in order for me to meet their expectations, id carefully and diligently concealed my own passions, my ambitions—my dreams under the layers of textbooks and test scores.

i started to unpack, slowly—tentatively. there was one particular box that yields a bittersweet collection, one that i stashed away as i began to realize how i started to stray away from the path i wished to take. there were faded photographs—remnants of friendships built on shared anxieties and unspoken resentments which led to a broken relationship—those weren't the kind of friendships that i wanted. the ones that are envious of my triumph and found joy in my defeat. that was not the kind if friendship that i wanted to partake in. the friendship that i want is one where we celebrate our triumphs and offer solace in each other's defeats. as i stashed away the faded photographs and bitter memories, i carefully repacked with yet another friendship—a silent acknowledge that some bonds, however long-standing, had served their purpose. in their place, i began to fill the space with new boxes, ones labeled with the names of people who saw me, truly saw me—flaws and all. this is the friendship that i actively chose myself. a relationship built on mutual respect and a genuine connection. i carefully placed the boxes in a neat row, each boxes facing me, labeled with the name "friends and i".

the next box was.. a bit heavier than the rest of the boxes. i took a look at the name of box, to which i was met with "past relationship". i now knew why it was heavier than the rest. as i took a look inside, i was greeted with Sharp shades of regret and bitterness that threatened to pierce me. the memories were vivid and the pain that it brought me was.. raw. however, as i sorted through the wreckage, i came across something unexpected; a jar. it was not any ordinary jar, it was a jar that's labeled "resilience." the hurt that was inflicted upon me was transformative, a strength i hadn't known i possessed was forged within me. i salvaged through the lessons that i've learned, wisdom that i gained and carefully placed them in a brand new box, one labeled "growth," a testament to my ability to overcome the adversity of a past romantic relationship.

after a long while, i finally reached the last box—the one that i stashed away the longest. it is the largest and most daunting of all boxes, it was none other than the box with the label "self." this was none other than the core of my being—the essence of who i was and who i was unbecoming. unpacking this particular box was a long and delicate process, as it was a journey of self-discovery. i salvaged the buried dreams, the passions that i had suppressed for so long and talents i'd almost forgotten. i confronted my insecurities which made me unsure of who i am, my fears that became the reason why i lost so many opportunities and my regrets that made me lose all of my confidence. i learned not to dwell on them anymore, but understand them—to learn from them. as i unpacked each layer, i felt a sense of... liberation. a freedom from the expectations of others, the weight of the past.

and now, the boxes are empty. their contents engraved into the fabric of my being. as i stand amidst the scattered fragments of my own past, i was met not with regret—but with a profound sense of accomplishment. the journey of unpacking myself had been challenging—painful even, but it was all worth it. the times when i endured and persevered bore a fruit—it led me to a place of self-love, self-acceptance and self growth. and now, i can finally say this sentence. the very sentence that i've long to utter.

i am free.

— (𝐗𝐕𝐈𝐈.) Eullo. — 贅沢

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